What Martial Arts Can Teach Us About ADHD and Emotional Regulation
| with guest Julio Angel Rivera |
One of the most powerful strategies Julio shares is drawn straight from the mat: learning to stop resisting what’s happening and instead flow with it.
“With depression, it’s very difficult to fight it off. You can try to say ‘I’m not depressed,’ but when you’re severely, clinically depressed, you have to kind of ride it out. Accept that the depression has happened and that the tide will turn.”
— Julio Angel Rivera, ADHDifference
This idea of moving with challenge rather than against it is deeply rooted in jiu-jitsu but it’s equally valuable for navigating ADHD, emotional dysregulation, and the unpredictability of daily life.
Why This Strategy Works
ADHD brains often meet friction externally (from systems that aren’t designed for us) and internally (from emotional spikes, overwhelm, or sensory overload). Our instinct might be to push through, force focus, or mask the struggle.
Julio invites us to try something radically different: notice the feeling, honour it, and adjust our stance.
In jiu-jitsu, when someone is holding you down, you don’t waste energy pushing them off directly. Instead, you shift, inch by inch, until you find the angle that creates space to breathe. This principle is equally powerful when applied to:
- Emotional waves
- Triggers and trauma
- Executive dysfunction
- Conflict or misunderstanding
It’s not weakness to step aside, pause, or approach differently. It’s strategy.
When to Use This Strategy
Here are some real-life examples of how “flow over force” can support ADHDers:
- In moments of emotional flooding
Instead of suppressing the overwhelm, acknowledge it. Let it rise, and let it pass. You don’t need to “fix” it instantly. - During depressive episodes or low-motivation days
Rather than trying to override the crash with toxic positivity, offer yourself a softer approach: smaller steps, rest, and self-compassion. - When stuck in rigid thinking or frustration
Ask: “Is there another way to move through this?” Even a small shift in perspective or pace can change everything. - In conflict or miscommunication
Take a mindful pause. Recognise the emotional charge. Respond, don’t react.
How to Practice Flow Daily
Julio’s philosophy is grounded in mindfulness…not just awareness of what we do, but why we do it. He encourages us to:
- Check in with your body – Are you tense? Holding your breath? Tapping or pacing? Your body may sense overwhelm before your mind does.
- Name the emotion – Give it a label. “I’m feeling frustrated” or “I feel pulled in too many directions.”
- Observe the impulse – Notice the urge to push, fix, or flee. Then breathe.
- Choose a gentler path – Whether that’s taking a break, changing your environment, or simply pausing for a moment of stillness.
With practice, these micro-adjustments become intuitive. As Julio says:
“That moment of the pause becomes shorter and shorter. And then all of a sudden it becomes instantaneous.”
The Science Behind It
ADHD brains are highly reactive to stress and stimulation. When we hit friction, whether emotional, cognitive, or sensory, we often respond with urgency or intensity, activating the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system.
The principle of “flow over force” supports nervous system regulation by interrupting that stress response. When we pause, soften, or shift direction, we’re creating space for the prefrontal cortex, the thinking and decision-making part of the brain, to come back online.
This also aligns with polyvagal theory, which tells us that safety and connection, not force, are what help us return to balance. By learning to feel our way through emotion instead of bracing against it, we’re creating resilience, not weakness.
💬 Final Thought
Julio’s journey reminds us that strength isn’t about resistance. It’s about adaptability. It’s being willing to move differently, to soften when necessary, and to face our internal landscape without shame.
Whether you’re managing ADHD, trauma, or emotional intensity, this simple shift ‘flow over force’ can be a powerful step toward balance.