ADHD Post Diagnosis

Julie and Jel discuss life following their adult ADHD diagnoses – taking ownership of their ADHD and how it has impacted their past, and will impact their future too.

They delve into how diagnosis provides clarity and self-compassion for past struggles while offering a framework for better decision-making and leveraging strengths in the present and future. From managing relationships and adopting routines to reassessing career paths and navigating life without medication, this episode offers a holistic look at the ongoing process of understanding and thriving with ADHD.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Emotional Reactions Post-Diagnosis: Diagnosis can evoke varied responses—relief, validation, or overwhelm—as individuals begin to make sense of their experiences. Unpacking the past through an ADHD lens can provide clarity, self-compassion, and forgiveness for previous choices or struggles.
Past, Present, and Future: The diagnosis allows reflection on past decisions and behaviors, understanding how ADHD influenced them. Awareness of ADHD traits in the present enables better decision-making and management of impulsivity, hyperfocus, and emotional regulation. Looking forward, it offers a framework for growth, informed choices, and leveraging ADHD strengths.
Relationships and Social Dynamics: Post-diagnosis, relationships often shift as individuals share their diagnosis and seek understanding. ADHDers may find comfort in looser social networks or deep but fleeting connections rather than traditional friendships.
Practical Strategies: Small, manageable routines help counteract impulsivity and hyperfocus, such as setting boundaries for work hours. Identifying specific challenges and adopting targeted strategies can lead to improvement.
Career and Creativity: ADHD traits like creativity and adaptability can influence career paths. Post-diagnosis, individuals may reassess roles and environments to align better with their strengths.
Managing ADHD Without Medication: Many adults may not take medication due to health conditions or personal choice. Practical tools like exercise, routines, mindfulness, and professional support can help.
The Holistic Journey: Post-diagnosis is a lifelong process of understanding and growth. It involves balancing emotions, adapting strategies, and finding a sense of identity within the ADHD framework.

LINKS

Julie is the author of THE MISSING PIECE: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing and Living with ADHD (Harper Collins, 2024)

TRANSCRIPT

JULIE: I’m Julie Legg, author of ‘The Missing Piece’ and diagnosed with ADHD at 52.

JEL: And I’m Jel Legg, diagnosed at 55.

JULIE: Welcome to ADHDifference. In this episode we’re going to be talking about post-diagnosis. Yeah, after the whistle has blown and you’ve been presented with the diagnosis, then what? Well, a lot happens actually after that day so we thought we’d chat about our experience.

JEL: Yeah, I think we’ll all react differently. I guess some people will be upset. Some people will be concerned. Some people will have a great sense of relief that there is something there … there’s something to make sense of things. But I don’t think in that moment after diagnosis, that first hour, that first day, that first week, that it all makes sense and it’s nice and simple, and you can move on, and that’s it now, done. No, it’s not that simple. There’s a lot of unpacking to do and I think you divide, for me, I divided it into three. There’s the past, the present, and the future and each are completely interconnected, and each needs thinking about starting perhaps with the past well.

JULIE: Well, I definitely felt validated after the diagnosis for me. If I didn’t have ADHD that would have opened up another can of worms. So, for me I was pleased that I knew what I was dealing with, if that makes sense. Yes, unpacking a whole lot of things … it’s taken us time. It’s almost 2 and a half, 3 years since our diagnosis in our 50s, and even now we can have epiphanies about our past … the way we saw the world and some of the paths we travelled. Again, the forks in the road and why we took one option over the other. And, you know, we’ve made errs of judgment. We’ve made mistakes. Looking back, ADHD certainly could have contributed to those moments, or those decisions, or our behaviour perhaps at the time. And for many, including myself, often there’s shame and guilt associated with that. And so, looking back at some decisions and work out why just gives a deeper understanding and a bit of self-love, and a bit of self-forgiveness, to what may have happened in the past. And that really helps because once you know something – look back to understand it definitely, but it can actually change the course of the future if you choose it to.

JEL: There’s an old English expression that I love, “The past is a foreign country,” and it means that the past is the past. You can’t change it. You can’t go back. You can’t repeat it. You can’t fix anything and, you know, you can’t live in the past. You have to live in the present and be hopeful that you have a future. So, that’s my basis for the past but then I thought to myself, yeah, but there’s that other expression, “If we don’t learn from history then we’re doomed to repeat it.” So, with ADHD there is a lot of unpacking the past, the jobs, the relationships, the friendships, the choices to go left instead of right, and all of those do matter. And, you know, it’s … I would liken it to your entire life being filmed in black and white and suddenly it’s in HD colour. And it’s clearer and things make sense, and the details you didn’t see before you now see with such clarity. I keep using this word unpack. There’s a lot to unpack. Amongst the many things I like to do I’m an archivist of audio. I don’t think that’s the right word, but I like to go back to old recordings over the last 40 years and see if I can do something with them to make them sound better. And I love audio, so it’s like forensic audio and audio restoration. So, I’m always unpacking the past somehow. And some people love to get their old photos and clean them up and relook at those photos. And with genealogy you particularly do look at old photos and you look at the details in the background and try to unravel the mystery. Well, with an ADHD diagnosis you’re doing this with your memories, your own personal history, and to a large extent then who you are … your personality, your attitudes, your views on the world, your values, it all … that’s a whole process you need to go through and it doesn’t happen quickly and we’re still doing it. Once you start to really do that, and that’s really again we must say we’re talking from an unmedicated space, that’s self- cognitive therapy in a way. The cognitive, the thinking of the mind, reworking all those things out. That then comes into today – the decisions you make today, and how you respond and react in the moment right now, because today is the past tomorrow. And, so if you don’t pick up and learn from those things, if you don’t, then you’re just going to keep repeating the past no matter how much you forensically examine it.

JULIE: For me in the past, for example, I would describe my younger self as being fiercely independent, financially independent. Just generally I was stubborn and I went it alone in a lot of instances. I can now see why I did that and basically for me, it was more of a survival mode, for me that I didn’t have to rely on other people, or perhaps other people disappointed me, or that was my ADHD frustration with other people’s circumstances. I wouldn’t often ask for help and so, at times if I was struggling, I’d try and work it out myself, again being independent. Now looking back through that lens, I would like to say in the future, if I needed some help, that I could ask knowing that I don’t actually have to go it alone and it’s no dent in my character asking for suggestions, or tools, or strategies to help me through some things.

JEL: Yeah, I agree entirely. Yeah, absolutely agree entirely. What’s key to our relationship is we don’t ask each other to change. We’ve never asked each other to change. We take each other for who we are, and move forward with that, and celebrate that. So, in unpacking the past and thinking I need to adjust some of my approaches to people, and life, and situations, that implies we’re changing. We don’t fundamentally change as who we are, once we know we have ADHD, we stay the same. It’s just how we deal with people, situations, emotions, reactions we have. It’s that relationship which starts to change and that doesn’t threaten a relationship. It certainly hasn’t made our relationship challenged or harder. If anything, it’s deepened it and made it … us understand each other even more. And we can share. I suppose in a way it’s fortunate we both have ADHD because when one of us says “I’m feeling or reacting to this situation like this,” the other one can understand and go “The odds are, I am too.” If we don’t react the same way, now we’re talking the present now, if we don’t react the same way then we both have cognitive tools to talk that through. So yeah, it’s not a constant state of overthinking. It’s not a constant state of anxiety and self-analysis and overthinking (literally I just said that twice, I know) … we do just get up and get on with the day, and enjoy it, and make the most of it. But behind the scenes all the time, yet you do have a deeper understanding of yourself, which isn’t just “Oh I’m the sort of person who’s happy a lot, or energetic, or I care a lot,” it goes so much deeper than that. ADHD is a framework for every aspect of your emotional library, you know?

JULIE: And, I’d like to think that for every ADHD trait there’s a positive and a negative side to them. Impulsivity, for example, we’ve both exercised that in our past which has led to brilliant decisions or not so brilliant decisions, in probably equal measures. But now we know we’re both impulsive, and we do have to stop ourselves … but because we know what’s going on, and because we’ve proven that in our past actions, and so we can almost say “It’s one of those moments. We’re about to make something … a very impulsive decision. We need to sleep on it. And literally we do. And the next morning go, “Right, take a deep breath. What haven’t we considered?” and we’ll sort of unpick it all.

JEL: Now, if my memory serves me right, I think we had an episode on Impulsivity and we had an episode, if I recall, on Imposter Syndrome. [Yes.] Yes, cool. So just in the last few days alone, those two conversations have been a big part of this household, and imposter syndrome, in particular. In the present is … we now have words we can use to describe how we relate to things that we didn’t have before. We didn’t really understand that we can suffer from imposter syndrome. We didn’t really understand that we had an impulsiveness in each of us that other people don’t tend to have. And, so … none of the things go away that we’ve always had. They’re just here now and we can stop, and look, and say either to ourselves, or to each other, “Hey, we’re being impulsive,” then just slow down a sec. But the one recently a lot … so I was suffering a lot from this imposter syndrome. So, Jules was able to say “Imposter syndrome. Now, pragmatically and realistically, I think that you’re not really being an imposter. You’ve got a fair crack at the whip at that. Let’s go for it.” And, it took about a day of me listening to Jules and thinking about it, and thinking “Actually I’ve got nothing to lose, I … just go for this opportunity.” Without Jules’s support and without understanding that ADHD part of ourselves, I probably would have backed away from that opportunity and not given it a go. I … whether it succeeds or not now doesn’t matter because that expression, another expression, ‘You got to be in to win,” well I’m in now so I might win. If I don’t, well I don’t. Yeah, That’s okay. It doesn’t reinforce my imposter syndrome; it just means at least I gave myself the chance at something. Yes. So, the past, the analysis, the diagnosis rather, the present, what’s going on … now that’s affecting the future. Yes. The future may now change because of that understanding.

JULIE: And how I apply that is, regarding my hyperactivity as a busy mind, now that has lots of ramifications for me. Usually, it’s around speech. So, I have said this before and I will repeat it, I will tend to start sentences but not finish them. I’m making a proper effort now to put the full stop here. Whereas generally I can ramble on. I’ll get distracted midway and I’ll go down a tangent and I may, or not, go/come back to the question or what I was, whatever I was talking about. So, in the past that has inhibited me in a work environment. For example, I hated giving presentations because I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t just go off on a big ramble. At the same time I was an actor and I was given a script. Now that’s completely different. When you’re given a script and I could learn it word for word. All I was doing was delivering someone else’s words. Not a problem whatsoever but, when I was having to present as me, that was a bit of a stumbling block. So, post ADHD diagnosis and now I understand … that understanding that yes, that’s what I do, I own it. And in a podcast like this, or when I’m being interviewed for the radio or bits and pieces, I’ll say to the producer “Just to let you know, if I stray from your question feel free to pull me back … you know, I welcome you to do that. I’m not going to be offended. In fact, it’ll make for a pleasant experience for everyone.” And that’s how I deal in situations now. I would have never have done that in the past because I hadn’t identified it. So, I think it’s identifying the biggest trip hazard you may have, the one that impacts you the most, and it will be different for everybody, and just working at ways how you can make that easier or better. And again, we’re not broken. We don’t need to be fixed but we do need to identify those areas that, with a bit of help and work, we can improve, I think.

JEL: I’ll give an example of hyperfocus. Not too many years ago I’d be quite … in fact yeah, not too many years ago at all, even the early stages of our relationship, I would often be up until 2:00 or 3: in the morning, working on writing or mixing music. And it was completely inefficient. Your ears don’t work. You know, you get two or three hours a day to mix music with fresh ears, usually starting at say mid-morning. So, it was completely inefficient and I would dread going back in the next day and listen to what I’d done. Sometimes there were some great ideas I could take further. A lot of the time it was complete waste of time. They were terrible ideas and everything sounded awful. So, you know, I know that part of my mind that just wants to keep at something, keep doing it, doesn’t want to take a break, gets frustrated if I have to stop for an hour or two. But I’ve just taught myself it’s okay. You have ADHD. It will take a bit longer to complete what you want to complete. So instead of completing an album in 2 years, it might take you two and a half years. I come back to an example I might have used in another podcast actually. It’s like driving. You can drive somewhere at 120 km an hour, as fast as you can, or you can stick to the speed limit at 100 km. It might be more fun driving fast and more exhilarating, but you don’t get there much quicker. You just risk tickets, and crashes, and all sorts of things. And, perhaps, wearing the car out faster. But everything I do now I look at it and go, “I want to do it quicker like I always used to, but it’s okay to go a bit slower. It’ll get done just as well in the end, perhaps even better,” so that’s present, yeah?

JULIE: To that I will add … and we did an episode on time management, yes. Often for us it’s lack of time management. It’s as if we wake up and, when we’re focused, we jump on the hamster wheel, and we run run run run run run run run run … and nothing stops us until we fall out of it due to exhaustion, or unless someone stops the hamster wheel. Because we naturally aren’t going to slow down and go, “Oh look, look at the time. It’s time to do something else to put more balance into my life.” That’s not a natural thing for us to do. So, what we … we’ve got a little rule, haven’t we? By 6:00 at night we put down what we’re doing and we just stop. The day stops and we socialize and catch up for an hour and then …

JEL: I know it sounds terribly regimented but then, an hour or so later, we’ll dive in the spa, which is an incredibly you know … winter, whether it’s the middle of summer or middle of winter, we dive in the spa. Yeah, lucky us, we have a spa but you could dive in a bath. It doesn’t really matter, you run a bath. Force yourself to sit there, incapable of doing anything. The great thing about sitting in a spa or a bath is it’s a really stupid place to take your mobile phone. [Yes, it is.] So you don’t. So you disconnect and an hour there, and so forth.

JULIE: Little routines just … you can set up that can help manage the hyperfocus … and sometimes we’re cursing. Well, I know that I am. At 6:00 and damn, I’ve really only just started making headway in a project but it’s like “No, it’s 6:00.” And it’s not just me. Jel will come in saying “Right you, it’s 6:00. Computer off,” or whatever, whatever we’re working on.

JEL: “I’ve turned the studio off now,” yes I don’t like to turn it back on. It’s of a process. I wouldn’t say it’s painful to have these routines but it’s a constant battle. It’s constant, well … as you just said “6:00 I don’t want to stop. Do you want to stop?” We might go another hour but at the end of the day, how many hours are going to go for … and suddenly we’re both still doing something at midnight, or 1 in the morning, and we haven’t eaten and we haven’t chilled.

JULIE: So, while routines don’t come naturally, actually and anecdotally, routines are really good for ADHDers. [Yes, they are]. Post-diagnosis … there’s a few things … and I want to talk about who do you tell after a diagnosis, and about some of the ripple effects in there. So, one of them is do you tell friends and family? Well that’s 100% up to you. In my opinion I think family, yes. I think they, theoretically, should be one of the closest to you and, because there’s a genetic involvement there that could be helpful for others. Also just to try and get them to understand you better and I think that’s a really good start. Also too friends … well that’s completely up to you. They may have already thought you’ve had a diagnosis. They may have seen your ADHD shining through strongly since you met, or they may be surprised, or they may not be interested at all.

JEL: And the degree to which, perhaps, you tell some people, perhaps just reflect on it for a while yourself and then take … start to try to take ownership of what it means to you before sharing it with people because they’re going to have questions. And, those questions are perfectly valid and, if you have some thought-through answers, that helps in telling people. [Absolutely.] … Rather than “Hey, an hour ago I found out I’ve got ADHD.” Well what does that mean? “Well, I don’t know.” Well why did you tell me for? It’s like, I’ll work out what it means. Well, it might not be what it means, you know. “I’ll go and read about it.” Well, hang on I’m … Yeah.

JULIE: And the myths and misconceptions out there about ADHD are still rife and there is still a stigma around it. So the more you are armed with knowledge about how you work and how you own it, the better it is really.

JEL: You educate yourself before you can educate someone else. If they have questions … or. [Yeah. Definitely.] Yeah, you have to start with yourself.

JULIE: Definitely. Talk to any counsellor or therapist and they will say, “Be with people who love you, who enable you, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself,” you know what I mean. So, if in a situation where in a friendship group where you feel like an outcast, you don’t really fit in, you’re never really invited to the barbecues … rather than trying to push push push into a space where possibly you aren’t welcomed, or you just have an imposter syndrome, it’s okay to withdraw yourself from friend circles. And that’s a huge thing to do. Easier to do post-diagnosis when you understand that maybe those … that group isn’t healthy, for you. To find a group or individuals that really celebrate you is really very very important, in my mind.

JEL: Because you’re not … you don’t want to be judged by the people around you. That’s the last thing you want but you need to take responsibility not to judge other people’s reactions or judge other people too. And, so for instance, I found we’ve been talking about for a long time, a long time, how do we go and find friends? Do we join some club? Perhaps, if you would go back into acting or maybe do some stage acting, I might join a sports car club, or a club for some other hobby I had/have. And, so okay, so you find people with something in common. That’s a good starting point but now, with ADHD, we realize that just because we’ve got something in common doesn’t make necessary for a good friendship. [No.] No, it’s not that simple. And what we’ve also discovered over the years, naturally, is that we love the company of strangers for short bursts of high energy. Getting to know them, but not inside out, but certainly getting to have those really open frank conversations that can happen very quickly because no one’s got anything to gain or lose. We’re ships in the night passing.

JULIE: There’s no expectations and so things like oversharing to a stranger can lead to amazing conversation.

JEL: Friends do always disappoint us and I’ve got to say, there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re fine, they’re lovely people. They’re great people. They’re as valuable as anyone in the world, and certainly we’re not different or special to them in a way that makes us more valuable, they’re awesome people but we just don’t know how to be friends with people. We just find acquaintances work better and that’s honest. And it’s sometimes it’s hard because you hurt people when you have to move away from them but it’s what’s best for us. [Yes.] Friends in the past, some of whom you know you lose contact with, and I just got nothing but fond memories of, and wish I could occasionally say hello to. And, I could. I could reach out and find them but there’s no point because they’re friends from the past. Meet interesting cool people, have cool conversations, be very generous with time and other things with people in the future, and share love, great. But what that means long-term I just don’t know. But it’s that sense of placement, self-worth, position in society. People will say “I have friends. I have family. I have a job. I have a place in society.” Now friends are part of that. I’m not saying that none of these things are important. And they are important. And you read all the time that people who don’t live very long in life are people who are lonely and don’t have a social network. I’m not saying that that’s not true. I’m not saying that’s not true, at all. But, for some of us, we don’t need this big social network. We are doing just fine on our own but we’re not loners and strange people. We do really love people. We can go into a supermarket and rejuvenate our social needs by just having the best conversation with someone. I love going to the hardware store, you know. After a few trips to the paint department, I don’t know the guy’s name but we have a rapport. We just strike up a … you know … I think, is that a friend? You know, what is it? Is it an acquaintance, someone who works in a hardware store? But it’s another human being that brings joy to my world. I cheer him up, we share some positive energy, and I go away with my endorphins flowing which are the things that apparently are going to keep me living longer.

JULIE: The thing that would turn that happy acquaintance into a friend would be saying “So anyway, come over for a barbecue in the weekend,” but you wouldn’t, would you?

JEL: It might be a great idea now. Right now, sounds like a great idea. How many times have we done this? Roll around Saturday “Oh, no. What did I say that for? I don’t want to … no, I want to do something else. I’m not in the mood right now.”

JULIE: It is interesting. So, I guess post diagnosis, as we’re displaying right now, still lots of talking about how ADHD has affected us. What we’re doing tomorrow? How it may or may not affect us in the future.

JEL: I think the thrust of what I’m hearing in our conversation is it’s all about taking ownership of who you are. And you … someone out there watching or listening to this, you may be very different to us, and that’s absolutely fine. And you will have just as much ADHD as we have but you … ADHD isn’t a one-size fits all. There are different aspects to ADHD and we all have different amounts of certain aspects of it, is that right, am I right on that? And so some people with ADHD really do function well in regular social groups.

JULIE: So with ADHD, when you get a diagnosis you may or may not be told what type you have. It isn’t essential but it’s quite interesting. So there are three types of ADHD. They call it Predominantly Inattentive, then there’s the hypera … Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive type … and the stereotypical energy but also a really busy mind as well, and that could lead to things like impatience and emotional dysregulation and all sorts, and then there’s a Combined type, which means that you’ve got really equal quantities of both. It doesn’t really matter really what type you have as long as you can identify those trip hazards, you know what I mean? And you don’t need to try and find strategies for everything. Just pick the one that really impacts you and that with a bit of tweaking, you can improve. Because otherwise, sweating the small stuff is going to lead to a lot of stress and I think we know that. We don’t. You know, I have dishes always from last night on the kitchen bench and my routine is I do them next morning, without stressing about it. And, you know, moving my expectations … it’s fine and we live with it, and that’s absolutely fine.

JEL: Yeah it’s … taking ownership is really important because if you think something’s changed in you after a post-diagnosis, if you think “Oh my word, okay, so I have something … a framework to work within now,” then you have to take that ownership yourself first of all, you, inside. And then you look out to the world and some parts of the world will change and accommodate, and understand and you’ll thank them for it. And some just like as Jules said earlier, maybe your acquaintance/friend group, whatever … Boom, “Everyone’s getting that these days,” whatever. It’s “Oh, cheers. Okay, well you need to go.”

JULIE: Careers are interesting post-diagnosis when you look at our good traits and our positive … you know very creative, very empathetic, good at responding in a crisis, there’s well there’s heaps, there’s heaps of very positive things, you may look at changing your career choices. If you realize that you know, perhaps administration in an office, while it may have some element of routine that may be good, it might be very monotonous and drive you crazy. And make you feel very unhappy at work. And so when you look at … yeah it’s just being more aware of what makes you happy.

JEL: As a web developer I love the creative side of it. So if you work in the creative industry and suddenly one day you wake up and now you’re managing it, you’re an account manager because you were very good at web development, you understand how the business works, but now you’re not doing any web development. Maybe you say “I can stay in this industry but go back to what I enjoy doing,” so … and that can apply anywhere. You might be in nursing and get a promotion to administration where, you know, and you might have to think “Maybe I need to go back on the ward where I was really good at what I did.” So that I’m not saying these are the perfect examples. I’m saying you can move within your career and it may be a demotion, a voluntary demotion, if that’s good for your mental health. It’s possible, yeah yeah yeah, if you’re in a position to do that.

JULIE: But of course, when the wind’s blowing in the right direction and in a perfect world, one would be able to talk to your manager and have an open conversation about what would be better for you with regards to a work environment. Now I say “in an ideal world” because a lot of business management teams and the rest, or the culture, just isn’t quite there yet. And so we need to help ourselves before we expect other people to help ourselves.

JEL: A good example there is if you need to make changes at work. You … open plan’s not working for you and you need to go into a space where, you know, “So give me a space, an office, or the back of a broom cupboard. Somewhere I can work or let me go home a bit more.” You’re coming up … you need to come up with a solution. You can’t just say “Hey I’ve got this problem. I can’t cope.” Your manager needs to be helped with a solution. If they can’t respond to that solution then … well

JULIE: And you could say that without actually saying you’ve got ADHD. You know what I mean? You can just …yeah there are lots of different things. The other thing too is, you know, balance. It’s easy to say balance isn’t it – ADHD balance, but if you don’t feel, for example, your job is creative enough and you’d like to explore that, there’s heaps of hobbies if you’re not already doing them, or groups, or whatever it is out there, just to exercise that side of you. So you don’t feel that you’re, you know, not celebrating your positive traits as well.

JEL: Now we’re absolutely hopeless at going to the gym or playing sports. Never have done. That’s just not us. You can probably tell but one way we cope with that need for physical exercise is, yeah, we’ll just go out and cut the lawns or do something … if you’re lucky to have lawns. If you can’t, go for a walk. Do something. Recognize that if you’ve got the ability to do something physical, and I’m not talking running or tennis or squash or gym bunnies, not that level, just something, something. Yeah?

JULIE: It has been proven that exercise is actually really good for the ADHD brain and it just works up the dopamine levels higher to a near, you know, to more normal levels. And so anything while I might not be running around the garden, even just being outside in the fresh air is really really helpful to recharge my batteries. So it’s little tactics, isn’t it and little thoughts that you know, that when you get stuck you can help yourself even just in small little ways.

JEL: Tactics and small ones can make a big difference because post-diagnosis, bringing it back to what we’re discussing, post-diagnosis, as you learn and read more, you’ll find perhaps exercise of some kind, any kind these … things suddenly actually really matter a lot for this thing called ADHD, post-diagnosis. Whereas before you might have thought “It was just walking. It’s not far enough to make me fit so why should I bother?” Well actually it does make quite a difference and so you’re connecting this post-diagnosis with things that help.

JULIE: Yes. So whether you’re medicated or unmedicated for ADHD, it’s still important that you try and help yourself and to get some strategies in. Medication works for the time taking it, and it could wear off in the afternoon and bits and pieces so you’ve got to, you know what I mean, have these tools in your pocket to be able to pull out when you need them, regardless.

JEL: There’s all sorts of physiological reasons why at our age we may not be able to take medication, and we might be on other medication for other things. I’m not a doctor. We’re not doctors but I will throw out there perhaps blood pressure, or … There’s various things that are quite common for people of our generation to be on which may not tolerate taking the active ADHD …

JULIE: The stimulant drugs.

JEL: That’s the one I’m looking for.

JULIE: So there are a whole bunch of adults who may be undiagnosed who have ADHD, diagnosed but can’t take medication, or those who choose not to take medication. So there’s lots of us out there and I just think it’s about helping yourself and it starts by just identifying those … the major points and working on them. And if you need some help with those to go and seek some assistance whether it be through an ADHD coach, or a therapist, or your psychologist, who can also give some handy hints. Yeah, because we need to look after our mental health for sure.

JEL: And even perhaps if you are on medication, I think I’ve read about people still need to change aspects of their lives in order to improve things.

JULIE: Yes they do. It’s not, as I understand it to, it’s not a magic fix all. It helps smooth off some of the rougher edges or the sharp edges, which helps get through the day but it doesn’t mean that the dishes are done, and there’s petrol in the car, and you know what I mean, and that you won’t react badly to a phone call with some terrible news or …

JEL: Or that the social group isn’t toxic.

JULIE: Correct, correct. So … it’s almost quite a holistic view post-diagnosis too.

JEL: But as we sort of head towards a wrap up, there’s the emotional side to it too, is quite strong. As I said we started off saying about the unpacking. You revisit the past. You think about a lot of things. There will be guilt associated with it and there will be grief with some of the decisions in the past that perhaps were more driven by your ADHD than they may be now. But some people might argue “Yes, but if you’re three or four decades older you should be a bit wiser and you learn from your experiences,” and yes that’s true. That can’t be denied. That does happen. You do just get a little wiser but ADHD has its own blanket of wisdom and it’s not always the same as everyone else’s wisdom, so you have to be aware you can still act like that 20-year-old. So there’s a whole bunch of emotions that kick in and the thing with post- diagnosis is, my last thoughts on it, it’s not a period of like I said originally, days or weeks but I’m going to say it’s not a period of months or years, post- diagnosis is until your last breath. It’s your new framework. It’s who you are … well, not who you are, it’s how you see the world and how you react to it and … yeah.